Not As Cool As I Think I Am

Listening: L7
Reading: Six Moon Dance

So this afternoon I was spending some time playing my favorite MMORPG...Yes, I have a 'favorite'...It's all training skills and fighting monsters, like any other Serious Dork type of game...I suddenly realized that this might have become a problem, because I got an Obsidian Shield from a monster drop, and gasped audibly, because I had really, really wanted one...Then a few minutes later, I got another drop with the matching Obsidian Cape, and I almost literally shouted in glee...And then I cursed, because none of my Runescape buddies were online to share the joy with me...

*sigh*

I fool myself that my addiction is not that bad...I'll put dishes and laundry on, and sit at the computer and work on whatever project is going at the time, and train my character, and tell myself I am really multitasking...Yeah, that's it...

Today is Mother's Day...I didn't send a present or even a card to my mum...I am having The Guilt, but not really as much as I had thought I would...To tell the truth, I didn't even really think about it until Thursday or so, too late too send anything...I don't know if it is all the work I have been doing with the Ananaia class recently, but I have been having serious anger issues re. my mum the past few weeks...I'm way too old to be blaming issues I have on my parents, but sometimes I think about things my mum has done or said in the past that were totally inappropriate, like telling me as a 6 year old in great detail about the Kitty Genovese murder, or statements that were just plain rude; e.g. last year when I tried to talk to her about my jewellery, she told me that we should talk about something else because she was 'just not interested' in hearing what I was doing with that...

They've been trying to convince me to move to Vegas...I might think about it, if they go through with their plan to move to Flagstaff...*snickers* Part of the reason that I am thinking about moving out West is that in 15 years, my dad will be in a wheelchair and my mum will be blind, so jumping in a car and driving 5 hours to get to them in an emergency, or just for a quick visit to check up on things, is a lot easier than trying to get on a plane quickly and all the hassle that involves...

I just need to figure out a way to get rid of some of this anger shit...It does me no good, and I know I'll never be able to explain the way things are to my parents...I am always the Bad Girl, who needs fixing, and Mommy and Daddy to tell her what to do and set her straight...*shrugs* So if I work on my own stuff and offload some of it (in a Blog?! *grin*) then I can do my own thing and not worry about the toxicity...

I haven't done this in a while, and I know my Faithful Readership (Um, both of you? *grin*) is dying to know what I'm listening to, so...

Fred's Top Ten for Today!

1. Disturbance at the Heron House--REM
2. Thursday Afternoon--Rollins Band
3. No Deposit, No Return--Black Flag
4. You--X
5. Rock the Casbah--The Clash
6. Edward--Old Blind Dogs
7. Crying--The Hotknives
8. Babysitter--The Ramones
9. It's Up To You--The Specials
10. Shirley--Billy Bragg

Oh, and I almost forgot My Total Humiliation...Checked my site stats for the Fiber Blog and this one the day after I posted about Lady Linoleum (Squee!) commenting on the FB...She looked at my Crazy Fan Girl post here as well...*blushes* But I did notice that someone who I believe to be Guido looked at my FB too (Technorati search for 'It's A Purl Man' coming from a computer in Massachusetts)...Yay me! *grin*